By Lisa Marbly-Warir
Lord where do I start? We are two episodes in and the arrow on my cringe-o-meter is still pointing towards what the crap is this mess? I want to like this show. I love the fact that Black women can be showcased as vulnerable, wanting love like any other woman and getting their happy on.
As a matter of fact I probably would have loved this show twenty or thirty years ago—in regards to a Black woman being fawned over by a non-Black man and let me explain-this was before I knew how deep stereotypes about Black women went and how many other cultures view Black women as naturally loose and not wife material.
I even had an African man tell me one day that Black American women were known for having five men at one time.
Not to mention, we as Black women since girlhood have been told directly and indirectly that we are not as pretty or desirable as other women.
I am a little dismayed by this show. I feel it is falsely telling Black women that Italian men are waiting to romance and marry them. Does it happen? Probably, but is it the norm or an exception?
I can see this turning sour fast if Black women en masse decide to go to Italy only to come back as unmarried and with child. Right now we are watching women who’ve made bad choices with relationships and now want a White Knight (pun intended) in shining armor to sweep them off of their feet.
The issue isn’t Black women wanting to cross the ocean for love; it’s the issue that many of us aren’t/weren’t taught how to be in a relationship. Many are not taught about being wife vs. a baby mama, or a forever girlfriend.
The grass isn’t necessarily greener on the other side.
We aren’t trying to fix what is going on over here in regards to dating/relationships/marriage stats etc.
But, if these women find genuine love in the arms of one of the Italian men, I’d be the first to be happy for them.
Twenty to thirty years ago, the dating landscape was not as dire as it is now and yes I believe it is worse for Black women and for a variety of reasons. It would make my post too long to cite every reason. But you can check out my Youtube channel. I discuss things like-
Are Black women raising their daughters to be single?
Is Church keeping Black women single?
Click below for videos
I am feeling some kind of way about this show—mostly because in the back of my mind I’m thinking about what other people are thinking about these women.
They’re older, divorced, have been in long term (never married relationships) baby mamas, mothers etc. Do these Italian men want them as wives? Do these men want a readymade family? I think this show would have been better if it was more of a random type situation.
I think these women’s heads were gassed up believing that Italian men were just waiting with open arms to women they’ve never really been involved with before. And the women are acting, well, desperate. At least they were in the first episode.
There is so much more that can be discussed here and I may revisit at a later date. I hope there is some redeeming quality to this show, because right now…
Please note—I am not against interracial relationships at all and this is not what my article is about. I’ve written two interracial romance novels. I just feel this show needs a little tweaking.
Thanks for reading.