Yes, the dead horse is about to be revived and beat again. This is a topic that never seems to go away—you know—interracial dating. Recently I responded to a Madame Noire topic on Twitter about Taye Diggs
Something curious struck me—the chorus of ‘we don’t care, I don’t care or my favorite no one curr’. I find it baffling that when a Black male celebrity dates out some Black women lose their collective minds—
I never liked him
He corny anyway
His wife is fugly
But the minute that man makes a comment about the insults hurled at him we see the whole ‘no one checking for you boo’ But weeks, months, years earlier when that man started dating a non-Black woman the comments were incendiary.
So, I’m like which is? Women who don’t care don’t go on the verbal attack about a man they never liked anyway, a man they find corny anyway etc.
Obviously, some people do care otherwise we wouldn’t keep having this topic come up week after week, year after year. And likewise, some Black men will get bent out of shape and resort to calling Black women who date out—bed wenches, belly warmers and worse for women they too claim to find ugly, let the dorky White guy have her ass, etc.
And something I’ve noticed online, just mention Black woman and White man in the same sentence and Black men will rage a verbal attack against you. I’m sure White men do the same to White women who date out (and definitely vice versa), but my article is about our community.
I never understand the angry outbursts from Black men online who by their own admission hate Black women, or find Black women unattractive.
I’ve said many times over that many Black men are only mad because they want to explore their options with women of other races, but they want Black women at home pining for them. They want Black women upset when they date out and sadly too many Black women give them that satisfaction by reacting to it.
Both sexes need to get a handle on themselves when it comes to getting mad, or upset about a Black man or Black woman dating out. Notice, when Black men become enraged when a Black woman dates out, but you hear crickets when it’s a Black man.
Same thing with some Black women, they get mad and upset when it’s a Black man, but don’t say anything when it’s a Black woman who dates out. It’s that inconsistency that is making people mad. I say if you’re going to be mad, then be mad at your sex too.
The fact of the matter is—dating interracially is still a sore spot for some people, probably most regardless of race. But in our case there are many underlying issues still at play between Black men and Black women.
I personally don’t have an issue with people who date out as long as they don’t degrade the opposite sex to do so. I can give a few stories of being accosted by a Black man in public who had a non-Black girlfriend or wife.
Some of those men can be downright nasty, unprovoked. It seems as though any Black woman becomes their enemy whether he knows you or not, you’re a Black woman and he is ready to attack.
I actually had a Black man shove me in a movie theater once, when I saw who he was with, it became clear. Now had I reacted, he would have told his White wife or whoever she was, ‘see that’s why I don’t deal with Black women’, yet he SHOVED me.
It hurt me at first, because I didn’t know this man, I was just the nameless face of a Black woman who had hurt him. That is what I have a problem with.
And finally, why oh why do people act like Black women are the only ones who care when Black men date out?
Notice on Married to Medicine reunion when Andy Cohen asked, Dr. Simone and the other ladies how would they feel if their son brought home a White girl? Why doesn’t Andy ask the White housewives that? Guess what? Their reaction would be the SAME!!
So newsflash, White women don’t like it either, not in the very least. White men goes without saying, we know they don’t like Black men with White women unless it’s some fetish bull crap.
So bottom line, the reason why IRR still a hot button topic is because
a) there is still bad blood between races,
b) there is bad blood between the sexes in the Black race—a lot of hurt and unresolved pain from both sexes.
And for some IR dating is the ultimate betrayal.
A lot of Black women feel that there aren’t enough decent Black men to begin with, etc. At the end of the day, people are going to date interracially. For people who have an issue with it, if you drop dead tomorrow, people are going to still date interracially.
And something I've written online before on this very topic, Black people who date/marry IR is still a very small percentage. If our community as a whole was more cohesive, I don't think IRR would be so glaring.
Please note, just my observation and opinion.
I really could care less who dates who, as long as they don’t degrade the opposite for their choice.
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