Have you ever been the other woman and didn’t know it?
As straight-laced and savvy as I am-or thought I was when I was dealing with my ex-fiancé. (And I use fiancé loosely) I had fallen victim of being the “other woman” It wasn’t until years later (by no admission on his end) that I found out that he had gotten married to someone else while we were in a relationship. He did tell me at one point that his woman always knew about me. (By then he and I had broken up) The funny thing is when we were dating I knew something wasn’t right. I had more questions than I had answers, and there was absolutely no peace in my heart dealing with him, none. There were also red-flags that I promptly ignored. I used to ask him-Is there someone else? To which he always replied, no, or he would go into his quiet space. He was extremely quiet and secretive, which is also a red-flag in a relationship. Apparently he gave me a satisfactory enough answer for me to continue on in abject misery with him-although, I tried to break it off with him a few times, but his declarations of love made me give him one more chance-until it was no longer a viable solution to our farce of a relationship. It was truly a dark time in my life-and one of the reasons I know that we as women will ignore warning signs.
Don’t let loneliness, desperation, hopes of turning the wrong man into your king make you cling to a man who is emotionally poisoning you. It ain’t worth it for your health, self-esteem or peace-of-mind.
The bright-side of dealing with a toxic-relationship is to use it as a learning experience and not allow it to happen again, and be on your guard so that you know the signs next time. What that horrible relationship did for me was-it prepared me for the right one, the real deal and the appreciation of a good man.
A love worth waiting for-Destinee’s Story book 1
Two Become One book 2
Born out of Lust book 3
Jewel-Entrepreneur, Fabulous and…Single
Sisters can we talk?
Under the Irish Moon coming November 2016
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…That night, I went to a club; it really wasn’t my scene, I was older, and had been there done that, and many of the patrons were years younger than me. Even though I didn’t look my age, I felt my age and I felt out of place. I got up to leave. I wasn’t anxious to go back to the hotel so I took off my shoes and decided to walk along the beach. It was dusk, maybe a little dangerous, but there were plenty of people around to feel relatively safe. As I walked I heard a vaguely familiar voice. Low and deep and it sent a ripple up my spine and a tingle to my nether regions.
“Great minds think alike.” I turned around. It was Trent.
“Mr. Trent Roberts; wow, what are you doing here?” I asked.
“Same thing as you-vacationing,” he said. “I saw you in the club. I was on the other side of the bar. I tried to get your attention, then I looked away for one second and you were gone.” he said.
“Oh, sorry, I was in my own world,” I said.
“I could tell,” he laughed.
“Have you ever been here before?” I asked.
“No, first time. Beautiful huh?” he asked.
“Yes, it is. It’s my second time here and hopefully won’t be my last,” I said.
We continued to walk and talk. We hadn’t seen each other in a few years and I was surprised he still remembered me. I certainly remembered him. He was very handsome, almost disturbingly-tall, well built, with golden brown skin, though it was darkened by the recent constant sun exposure in St. Thomas. He had dark eyes with heavy eyelashes, definitely too pretty to be on a man and a cleft in his chin that couldn’t be ignored. We found out little tidbits about each other that night. He was thirty three, never married and had no children….
Be sure to get your copy today and find out what happens next between Jewel and Trent. 4.99
#readers #books #romance #urbanreads
Timothy Dalton as Edward Rochester-is the best Jane Eyre adaption in my opinion.
Favorite Mr. Rochester (actor)
By Lisa Marbly-Warir
Hello readers and fans of Jane Eyre, I’m pretty sure this subject has been done to death, but for any novel or movie we as fans like, we don’t mind discussing aspects of it for the umpteenth time. Anyone who has stumbled across blogs of mine should know by now that Jane Eyre is my all-time favorite novel. I don’t even think I can articulate why this book resonated with me. I read it for the first time as a teenager, on my own accord. Then I had to read it again (happily) in high school. I read it again in my 20s and even listened to it on audio-and may even read it again one last time. Do I seem obsessed? Maybe, but it’s been at least 20+ years since I’ve last read it, so I’m about due to read it again.
We all know the story of Jane, orphaned and left to fend for herself against a hateful aunt, and odious cousins who made her life hell, then being sent off to that awful boarding school where further emotional abuse took place-and finally landing the governess job at Thornfield Hall with Edward Rochester. He was a tortured soul-but he and Jane were somehow kindred spirits, each other’s equals. He wasn’t used to a woman, especially an unattractive one taking him to task.
So that leads me to the reason of this post-who was your favorite Edward Rochester? I’m going to be honest and petty; I have never liked any of the actors chosen to play Mr. Rochester. I used to wonder, if the people who cast the movie(s) took the time to even read his description-
His figure was enveloped in a
riding cloak, fur collared and steel clasped; its details were not
apparent, but I traced the general points of middle height and
considerable breadth of chest. He had a dark face, with stern
features and a heavy brow; his eyes and gathered eyebrows looked
ireful and thwarted just now; he was past youth, but had not reached
middle-age; perhaps he might be thirty-five. I felt no fear of him,
and but little shyness. Had he been a handsome, heroic-looking
young gentleman, I should not have dared to stand thus questioning
him against his will, and offering my services unasked. I had
hardly ever seen a handsome youth; never in my life spoken to one.
Quote from Jane Eyre courtesy of www.publicbookshelf.com
Were they emotionally invested in this book the way I was? I ask because, though by the description he was not a handsome man, but as Jane fell in love with him, he became handsome in her eyes and you the reader couldn’t wait to read what their interaction would be next. I remember many years ago, talking to a fellow reader at work and there was a PBS adaption of Jane Eyre and we were both in agreement that the actor used (in my coworkers words-“he was so ugly” I won’t say which actor because that’s not nice. But to answer the question I pose to you all, if I had to pick and I do this grudgingly, it would have to be Timothy Dalton. That adaption of Jane Eyre was the best in my opinion. What say you?
These are the actors who have played ER over the years (I’m sure there are more)
George C. Scott
Every last actor except for Timothy gets a heck no.
Now, you might ask, so then Lisa who then would YOU pick to play Mr. Rochester? Gerard Butler did a great job in the Phantom of the Opera or it would probably have to be an unknown; he would have to have thick black or at least dark hair and dark brooding, expressive eyes and a heavy brow.
Please note, this is just my opinion, I don’t lose sleep over this, I just thought this would be a fun question to pose.
#JaneEyre #readers #booklovers
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Black women and marriage
Hey everyone. This is a beaten to death topic on many Black social media sites, but it’s a topic that can’t be ignored. As much as I try, believe me, lol. I see how marriage and the benefits of marriage can help our community. I just recently published a book Sisters, Can We Talk? that has been on my mind to do for many years. Long before my grandmother passed-she’s been gone for 6 years; I used to tell her that one day I was going to write a book about singleness and marriage, preferably wanting marriage. Back then, the negativity about marriage wasn’t so prevalent. I think the negativity about marriage is more so online where you have a great number of like-minded women who can feed off of each other-but IRL women are more likely to admit to wanting marriage.
I grew up in a time where young ladies sat around and talked about their future wedding plans, and what our groom/husband would look like etc or what we hoped he would look like. I would say somewhere in the past 15 or so years those days has turned into-marriage is not important, wives are desperate, pathetic, weak creatures, marriage only benefits men etc. But somehow having children with a man who refuses to marry you or step up to the plate is somehow acceptable, and the scary thing is, it’s become so commonplace that marriage does indeed seem like a foreign concept to many. Somewhere however, many young Black ladies are getting the message that marriage is not beneficial for women and that all men cheat, and so why bother with marriage?
Now I would like to say that-for women who genuinely don’t want marriage based on their own personal reasons, I’m not talking to those women. I more or less talk to women who I know want marriage. I think there are a few things going on that has made the idea of marriage go down a slippery slope, hopefully not to the point of no return. I don’t believe the desire for marriage will ever go away for most women, but we have to face the fact that more and more women are settling for shacking up, or having children with men they are not married to, and then moving on to the next man.
That is not conducive to a strong community, nor is it conducive to a healthy, stable household in a lot of cases. I believe marriage is no longer seen as important to some women, because many have made choices that lead them away from marriage, and then many are dealing with men who in particular may have been raised in a single mother run home, so they never saw their mother loved and cherished by their father. This is a vicious cycle that keeps manifesting itself as more and more people are coming together to procreate, but not see the importance of making their union legal and spiritually i.e. before God, family and friends.
I made a list which I put in my book about “Are you a placeholder in your boyfriend’s life?”
I posted a link to that chapter found here
Another thing I think is going on is many women are trying to make a relationship with the wrong man work, and by default assumes marriage is broken, not reliable nor beneficial for her. It’s not marriage, often times it’s people dealing with the wrong person. I’ve often said that when you meet a man and he tells you he doesn’t want to get married, believe him, what he really means is he doesn’t want to marry you. But guess what? Women will forge ahead in that relationship anyway, get her feelings tied up in him, or get pregnant and wonder about why he left, or why he won’t man up and marry her. Some women will even say-after the baby, or after I got pregnant he just switched up. No he didn’t, you weren’t listening to what he told you, or you weren’t paying attention to his actions-however, as I mentioned, many women did listen to his words, or knew his actions weren’t lining up and went ahead anyway.
At the end of the day, marriage is not broken, but what is broken are two imperfect people trying to come together. You just have to make sure you are with the right person, make sure you listen to the words men say as well as their actions. Men do tell us what they are about most times, we as women don’t always listen. I love a wedding, I love seeing two people in love come together-but at the end of the day, those two people need to know that marriage does indeed take work, there is a daily compromise, there are true benefits to marriage providing you are with the right person. Hopefully the link above will be helpful for some women who are wondering about why their boyfriend is not moving forward.
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Please note-the first book in my Destinee series-A love worth waiting for-Destinee’s story the ebook is .99. So check it out.